08/25/2011 

Awkward Moments Experiment

“Move out of your comfort zone. You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new.”
Brian Tracy

I’ve decided to create this to help me take more risks because my final year of college is looming.

I’ll create situations everyday for 30 days where two things happen:
1. I’m feeling awkward as fuck.
2. It benefits the other person or group.

I’m tired of avoiding “perceived danger.” I have to let the training wheels go. I’m down to one year, so the pressure is on.

It’s a distant cousin of Rejection Therapy.
The major difference is that I don’t have to ask for anything.

Some examples:
1. Giving hi-fives to random people.
2. Going to a party, even if I don’t talk much. (I tend to avoid them, so that’s awkward.)
3. Wearing my shirt backwards the whole day.

The starting date is:
Sept 19.

Who’s with me?

In the comments below:
-Give me some ideas (reminder: It’s a University Campus)
-Tell me if you want to participate in this too or wish me luck.
-Anything else that’s in your awesome mind.

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  • Charlie Pabst

    Dude, this is brilliant. I feel awkward just reading it.

    Count me in, man! Would love to hear some other ideas from readers as well!

    • http://twitter.com/30vanquish Matt Ramos

      Hey Charlie,
      Glad you feel awkward!

      Sounds good. Let me know when you’ll begin! And keep me updated.

  • http://getbusylivingblog.com Benny Hsu

    Could you stand on campus with a sign that says free hugs? That would be awkward but benefit others possibly.

    • http://twitter.com/30vanquish Matt Ramos

      Free hugs is definitely one of them! Thanks for the idea Benny.

      • http://vladdolezal.com/blog/ Vlad Dolezal

        Just pitching in to support the free hugs idea. It’s ridiculously scary the first time you do it, but so much fun to see all the people around you light up. (Even those who refuse a hug usually bust a huge grin when you offer one!)

  • http://www.balancedworklife.com/blog Bryce Christiansen

    Wow this is a cool experiment. I researched some pick up videos for a blog idea I had and man were some of those awkward.

    However, it really was a great learning experience for everyone involved and more often then not, the guy ended up benefiting from his awkward situations.

    • http://twitter.com/30vanquish Matt Ramos

      Hey Bryce,
      It would be cool to see those videos.

      Yeah it all depends on what you interpret a situation to be. Even if it is awkward does it always have to be so bad?

  • Anonymous

    I’m with you mate – all the way. Let’s do this!

    • http://twitter.com/30vanquish Matt Ramos

      Hey will,
      Let’s do this indeed.

  • http://www.bridgetpilloud.com Bridget

    YES. LOVE THIS IDEA! What about hanging out at an off-ramp with a cardboard sign that just says Have a nice day?

    • http://twitter.com/30vanquish Matt Ramos

      Wow, that’s a great idea! I’ll maybe do it on campus (will try to find an off ramp there!) Thanks for the idea.

  • http://twitter.com/alonnir alonnir

    There is one thing I always thought might be an interesting experiment:
    Tip people when it’s not a tipping situation.
    After visiting Manhattan for the first time and learning that in Manhattan you must tip in so many situations, I thought to myself – what would happen if I tip when it’s obvious no tipping is expected. How would the other person react?

    E.g.: Ask someone if he has the time. Tip him a buck when he gives you the time.
    Ask a stranger for directions, to take a picture, ask a stupid trivia question.

    • http://twitter.com/30vanquish Matt Ramos

      Thanks for the great idea.
      That could be a separate situation in itself! It could be seen as degrading if you’re giving a tip after you got a potential date’s number for example.
      I’m curious how they would react too!

      I’ll definitely try this one!

      • http://twitter.com/alonnir alonnir

        let me know @alonnir on twitter

  • http://twitter.com/ZenFacePainting Meeshell Heffner

    I love it! I remember seeing an article years ago in which a magazine had their staff members commit to a new “habit” for 30 days and report on the results. Some of them were striking up a conversation with a stranger every single day, and wearing bright red lipstick every single day.

    • http://twitter.com/30vanquish Matt Ramos

      Hey,
      Thanks! That sounds like a nice plan.
      If I’m bold enough, I’ll wear lipstick. Sounds AWKWARD!

  • http://www.thepanamericans.net Mark David Robertson

    I think colleges are good places for passing out tracks for something you don’t fully believe in. Or, you could pass out tracks saying “Matt Ramos at 30vanquish.com is making me do this”

    • http://twitter.com/30vanquish Matt Ramos

      Thanks for the idea Mark!
      I wanted to see what some sort of offline viral-like campaign could do for the blog. I wonder.

      Passing out free blank cds with my website on them? Hilarious.

      • http://www.thepanamericans.net Mark David Robertson

        On the jewel case: “This will make all your wildest dreams come true”

  • Chase Night

    You could stand around in funny poses like a model to protest the ridiculous world of fashion photography. Saw a hilarious video of this today. Might work better for women though.

    • http://twitter.com/30vanquish Matt Ramos

      Funny poses, hmmm, maybe I could make some girls do it! Liven up the campus. Great idea Chase.

  • Harley Roxanne

    Looking forward to hearing how this goes! My hat off to you for taking such a bold step. :-)

    • http://twitter.com/30vanquish Matt Ramos

      Thanks Harley, I’ll definitely write a follow-up!

  • http://twitter.com/mma323 Masafumi Matsumoto

    Great experiment! Since

    • http://twitter.com/30vanquish Matt Ramos

      Hey!
      You read my mind. That has to happen, especially with the 100 rejections by girls thing too. Hilarious! Thanks for the suggestion!

      You should e-mail me or contact me about more of these backup plans ;)

  • http://www.lifeislimitless.com Caroline Leon

    Matt you are an inspiration – I am so impressed by this and can’t wait to hear more about it. Good luck!

    • http://twitter.com/30vanquish Matt Ramos

      Thanks for the kind words Caroline! I’m excited and can’t wait, all the accountability is on the table now :)

  • http://whoischick.com Kai

    What a great experiment. Can’t wait to read how it goes. I want to try rejection therapy first…I think it will benefit me immensely. I like the idea of jumping on your get rejected by 100 girls and try that with 100 guys. But they must be guys I find attractive…I can never talk to them. ha ha.

    • http://twitter.com/30vanquish Matt Ramos

      Hey Kai,
      Go for it! Start small, really small. Then it gets easier from there. Hahaha! But if you talk to a guy, I’m sure they would be like “finally! I don’t have to always start the convo!” :)

      I’m excited for this too.

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  • http://twitter.com/jordinl83 Jordi NL

    I like “3. Wearing my shirt backwards the whole day”, it would be even funnier if it was a shirt and you asked people to help you button it up

    • http://twitter.com/30vanquish Matt Ramos

      That’s interesting, I’ll think of something that has to do with clothing, more than backwards shirts ;)

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  • http://twitter.com/joshlipovetsky Josh Lipovetsky

    Matt, this is awesome. One more suggestion for you: Find a place with a decent/high amount of people, and a place where there’s enough space to dance. Bring a boombox, and dance like no one’s watching for one song :) . I just started college, and that is what I’m gonna be doing. Kind of like Niall’s Acts of Courage! Or you could sing, haha. Whatever makes you feel more awkward.

    Best of luck,
    Josh Lipovestky

    • http://twitter.com/30vanquish Matt Ramos

      Hey Josh,
      Thanks for the suggestion! That’s a great one. I’ll think of something that has to do with music and just doing some crazy stuff! Cheers.

    • http://twitter.com/30vanquish Matt Ramos

      Hey Josh,
      Thanks for the suggestion! That’s a great one. I’ll think of something that has to do with music and just doing some crazy stuff! Cheers.

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  • http://genevajobo.wordpress.com/ jo

    Hey Matt, how about walking around with only socks on? People tend to question you if your not wearing shoes but are still wearing socks for whatever reason. Just don’t use a pair you really like or you might end up ruining them.

    Good luck with the experiment!

    • http://twitter.com/30vanquish Matt Ramos

      Hey Jo,
      That’s pretty extreme! (for hot weather especially) But I’ll figure something out maybe like wearing two different shoes?

      Thanks for your insight!

  • http://www.nomadicneill.com NomadicNeill

    Ok, just offering a contrarian opinion.

    There’s a fine line between risking awkwardness in order to reach your goals… and deliberately acting strange for kicks.

    How big is your campus?

    • http://twitter.com/30vanquish Matt Ramos

      Hey Neill,
      That’s actually good insight. It isn’t for kicks because ideally I want to do things that benefit others. I’ve always had a second unwritten rule in what I do: “Does it have authenticity behind it to prove a good point?”

      I’m not one to do things for kicks usually.

      Huge campus, probably miles wide, 30k students.

      • http://www.nomadicneill.com NomadicNeill

        Ok, sounds big. I was wondering cause you don’t want to get a rep as being the try-hard-Asian dude.

        Make sure to treat it an an exercise to push your boundaries, then drop it, and don’t create an identity around being ‘crazy-Matt’.

        I’ve seen lots of guys looking to improve their social skills starting to act crazy / playful / childish and creating a silly identity for themselves.

        Sounds like you understand what to do though.

        Have fun.

  • http://eveningrevolution.com/ Jonathan Manor

    interesting post. I hope it works out for you

    • http://twitter.com/30vanquish Matt Ramos

      Thanks Jonathan. I know it’ll work out.

  • Xnefrex

    omnomnom

  • http://www.thinkchooselive.org Chris Barba

    Got it! And I give you mad props if you do this! As you are walking in a crowd of people just stop frozen in time for 60 seconds and then continue walking like nothing happened.

    • http://twitter.com/30vanquish Matt Ramos

      Hey Chris!
      Yeah! I was thinking of doing that. Being frozen in time for no reason. Man that would be awkward. That’s an awesome idea.

  • http://www.byjanet.net/purple Purple Panda

    hand out condoms :) lol i still want to do this for World Domination Summit if I ever get a chance to make it. No one steal my idea!! ;P

    • http://twitter.com/30vanquish Matt Ramos

      That’s really awkward, especially in a college setting. I’ll see if I have the guts to do that one ;) Although you doing it in WDS would be funny too.

  • Kidculebra

    Sing don’t worry be happy to random people and give them a hug or a flower or a cookie =)

    • http://twitter.com/30vanquish Matt Ramos

      Yeah I’ll definitely do one one of those! :)

  • Jennie

    I may participate. Good idea!

    • http://twitter.com/30vanquish Matt Ramos

      Go for it! The best tip I have is: start small. No need to do the craziest thing on the first day, slowly work your way into the tougher ones :)

  • http://twitter.com/indiesilver Amanda Stein

    Love the idea! Imagine all the people you are going to inspire…and already have!

    • http://twitter.com/30vanquish Matt Ramos

      Thanks Amanda. Nice to hear that from you

  • Josh

    Great project. I did something similar last new years. I was doing One of the challenges in Neil Strauss’s rules of the game. I walked though London with my underpants over my trousers and a dildo strapped to my head. The polices made me take the dildo off, but the under wear were fine. The idea was to become comfortable with the uncomfortable. It certainly worked. I’d recommend coming up with some way of measuring your efforts though. That way you can appreciate all the glorious Progress you make. Suggestions anyone?

    • http://twitter.com/30vanquish Matt Ramos

      Hey Josh,
      I’ve seen the Rules of the Game and some of those challenges are hilarious and awesome as well. I need to get myself a copy, could be useful strategies there.

      “Become comfortable with the uncomfortable” That’s exactly the phrase that describes the purpose behind this.

      Measures: If it feels awkward to you, then you know you’re getting somewhere. The more you can feel anxious or nervous, then the more awkward it “seems” to you.

      • Anonymous

        Hey again,
        About the whole measuring thing…the idea is to create a yard stick. So you know how good you are doing. Going to a party might “feel” uncomfortable now, but in a month you’ll have to wear a pink tootoo while you face the opposite way in an elevator and sing “hit me baby one more time” (I meant y Britney spears, not as a cry of sadism). So, a yard stick (e.g. Measure how long you can sit at someone else’s table, in a restaurant, before you have to say something or move) that can be measured (set a time and keep track of the minutes, you might want to average three tries for consistency) will give you a clearer picture of how you are improving. That was a sad example, but you get the point.

        Another thing, they have a TV show in the UK called “balls of steel” you might want to check it out for inspiration.

        • http://twitter.com/30vanquish Matt Ramos

          Thanks Josh,
          I appreciate all those tips. I have a timer on my phone so that could work. I may approach study group tables or other things like that in the coming days. The challenges will get tougher and tougher, so all inspiration is welcome.

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  • http://twitter.com/MarioVult Mario Vult

    Carry a notebook and pen. Write down something beautiful about people you meet and hand them the piece of paper. It could be “you’re hot!” or “nice t-shirt”.

    Then just walk away and leave them with a great souvenir.

    Maybe it isn’t that awkward, but I trust you can spice up the idea.

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  • Mr.Halen982

    Man you’re great! Have you finished the experiment? Are the results anywhere available online?